Over it... or maybe not so much

I don't feel so good today. I woke up last night with a headache and it was hard for me to fall sleep again. Right now I feel like I'm about to get sick, but I'm not there yet. I also had a great deal of trouble trying to fall sleep in the first place because I had something in my head. You know how you think you're over something or someone and then comes around a reminder and you get all these feelings you weren't expecting? Yeah, that happened to me yesterday.
See, when I found out I was moving here I was in the middle or a relationship that wasn't really a relationship. I was in my first year of college and the truth is I wasn't doing really well. The problem was the regime of the school was incredibly hard and it just wasn't for me. Well the first week they had some activities so you'd get to know your classmates and stuff and this guy was in my group. We didn't really interact that day, but we had a couple of classes together so we became friends. He was my best friend, we saw each other every day and he was really the only person I hung out with outside class. Well turns out he's a very sweet guy and he tends to be very attentive with all his friends so most people were under the impression that we were more than friends. And well he was always send me texts and hugging me so I sort of believed it too. So of course I had a crush on him, which was not the bad part, what sucked was that I had no idea how he felt about me. Some days he'd be all sweet and then others he'd be all distant, harsh and putting me down somehow. It came to a point where I had to see what mood he was in to see how I would react to him.
It's my fault really, I have a thing but closed-up guys who are not able to share their feelings, and well that was the way he was. And well just about the time I was starting to feel that he was feeling the same way I was I moved away. It was extremely hard for me, because for a long time I had that question in my mind, what would've happened if I'd stayed? And I know it was unhealthy, and pointless to keep thinking like that but sometimes you can avoid stuff like that as much as you want to. When I went back he was really excited to see me and he all sweet to me again and that made it even harder. One of my oldest friends who attended the same college insisted that he felt the same way about me and that made it even harder. But after that trip when I visited I realized that I had to move on, because otherwise I'd always be thinking about it and at that point I knew I wasn't going back so it was pretty much torturing myself for no good reason. To be honest we rarely talked after I moved, I would send him an email but he wouldn't answer and I knew it, it's not his style. Then we'd talk and we didn't have that much to talk about anyway so I told myself that I had to look ahead and not back. The second time I went to visit he proved me right. He insisted for me to go visit him, then he ignored me to play cards with his friends when I got there, and then he got mad when I went to had lunch with another friend. So I finally put that behind me and decided that even if the possibility had been there at one point or another, it just wasn't there anymore. I still cared for him deeply and he'll always be a great friends but I couldn't keep waiting for something else to happen.
I actually felt really well after that, I enjoyed talking to him when we did but I wasn't going crazy when we didn't. And it was all going well for me, I even started ignoring my friend who kept saying she needed to know how he felt about me.
And then last night I was going through some photos I took when I visited, looking for a photo I took of my niece and I ran into a couple of photos he took of himself with my camera. Man, they caught me by surprise and it just hit me that I really miss him. I haven't talked to him in ages and I really wish I could. So obviously my mind took on its own and I started thinking about the last time we talked and if he missed me, and well it all went worse from there. It sucks, I really felt that I didn't need to go down this road again and here I am again. I hope that getting it out of my system will help me get it out of my mind because I'll go crazy thinking about him again.