What will the morning bring...

So... I'm scared. I'm really scared. Sunday is a scary day, because the future of my country depends on one decision. I can say to myself that I'm ok as many times as I want to, but there's always a bit of a lie in that. Most of us have little hope that things will go our way, most of us think that as much as we want to, things are just not going to work out. And really we have no one to blame, at this point things can only get worse, I mean no matter what we do he'll find away to get away with what he wants.
And it's sad, because most of the things that have made me who I am are over there, my family, my friends, my house, and there's nothing I can do to protect it, to get it back. And it's all at risk if this things work out like he wants them to. And can I do really? What can one person across the continent do? I can only listen to stories from my friends that I should be living, I give excuses when I should be doing, I cry and I write when I should be fighting...
I wish I could say that I still have hope, that there's even the smallest chance that things won't be so bad, but every single thing has shown me today that I have to prepare myself to face the facts if they come to be, like I have all those times when there was the slightest chance and I got my heart broken because everything I believed in came crumbling down.
Can we really succeed? Can we really scape the metal box he wants to put us in? Most of what I've seen today has shown me that we can't, that no matter how hard we fight we can't win. And it always gets to me, it does, because I like to think that life should be good, that we deserve to be happy. But we've received punch after punch without a chance to get up. We take it and we move on, trying to survive and then when we think we're back to normal, everything comes back down again. But what happens when we don't have the strength to move on? What happens when we lose the will to fight because it's not worth it anymore? What do we do then? I'm sad and I'm scared, because I don't have the answers. I'm scared because I don't want to find out.
It hurts because I'm so conected to it and at the same time I'm completely removed from it. I still feels everything that happens really close to my heart but I can't say I really capture the truth of it. I'm not living it, I'm not experiencing it. And yet I can still say how much it affects me. It touches every life under his power and it will have consequences over everything. Power over military, over politics, over media, over economy, over jobs, over property, over every aspect of every day life... that's what he gets and that's what we lose.
So, as much as I'd like to believe that things are going to work out I still have to wait to see what the morning brings...