Reactions...

It's weird how some news hit you isn't it? I just heard today that my sister-in-law's dad was killed when he got shot as he was arriving at his house. We don't know why, we don't know how. And I felt this sort of sadness, but mostly I was worried about Andy and I have no idea how she's feeling and I'd really like to be there to support her. I never met him, I know every little about him and yet I feel sad. But I can tell you that the feeling that hit me the most was anger. I was angry about how bad things are in terms of safety in a country that doesn't deserve it, and meanwhile the president spends his time talking crap about Bush and negotiating hostages for another country. And it makes me so sad because you never know how bad it is until it hits close to home. I feel so impotent being so far away and not being able to even try and give someone as special as her at least a comforting word or a hug. I've never dealt with death directly, and I really hope I don't have to anytime soon but I do know what it's like to be alone when things are bad and that's something I don't wish to absolutely anyone.
Believe it or not, when I heard Heath Ledger died it made me sad too. Not in the same way obviously and I didn't even like him that much but it just stuff that catches you off-guard and it's so unexpected that it has to affect you. He was so young and it's really sad, I hope he's in a better place. I hope they both are.
Sorry for the depressing tone of this post, but I had been trying to avoid the subject all day and I know if I don't get it out it'll keep bugging me for days to come.

I've been writing a lot lately. I dunno why but I've been having all these ideas running around in my head and I've felt like I need to put them down on paper. Some of it has sucked but some stuff has come up really good. I'm starting to type my oldest story and I might post it soon, but I have a lot re-writing to do because it's mostly dialog. It feels really nice to have something that really helps me relief stress and that helps me get out all the stuff that I really want to say. I'm really enjoying it, so hopefully my muses will stay with me a couple of more days, they're helping me work through some stuff that had been hiding under the surface. Like I dunno, the fact that one person claims to have feelings for you and then proceeds to ignore you the moment you turn around to pay attention. Trust me, putting it down helps you move on, it's no good to keep feelings bottled up inside.