Ok, so since I've been on vacation I've woken up at noon and today I woke up at 7, so as you can imagine my mood is not the best at this moment. But I was going through some stuff I wrote a while back and I found this and I felt like posting it. This is something I wrote a couple of months ago about one the best group of friends I've had in my life. This was mostly part of a journal and not meant to be shared, but since I don't really know if anyone is actually reading this, I thought I'd post it. The writing is less than stellar, but it tells the story, and that's what I felt at that moment so I decided not to edit it.
That summer was absolutely amazing. I went everyday to play tennis and I spent all of my time with this close group of the coolest people ever. One of the guys I care the most about came out of that summer. I had never felt that comfortable with a group of people. It could all be related to the fact that all of our hormones were practically displaying themselves in our skins. Seriously, it was absolutely abnormal how much everything we did was about sex. Of course now it's absolutely the same but at least in a much realistic level, at least for some of us (Nope, the older one being me, is not included). But I enjoyed it, the naughty comments, turning every word into a sexual innuendo (crazy five! if you don't know what that means shame on you! go back and watch a couple of episodes of Scrubs).
I really don't like to talk about specific people, but anyway the group was me, my awesome cousin, a pair hot blond of twins (they were guys, and really young, sorry!), a pair of sister I never really had contact until that time (I kind of disliked the older one but one day we just started to hang out and became really close), an old childhood friend and her brother and this guy that seemed a little bit of a geek but it is the coolest guy ever!
Ok, so we hung out every single day. We played tennis, but it was just as fun when we weren't. We ate together and talked about everything from underwear to how we run our own strip club (I told you it was all like that). We all had this second personality that was the naughty one and we all had a different act. We had the coolest inside jokes and we knew everything about each other. We got to the point of a spanking competition, but not like you think, the thing was that the people who spanked the most people and got less hit by the rest was the best. I swear it was so much fun you really had to have eyes in the back of your head or have a red butt for the rest of the day (I must confess that eve though I received a hit or two I did very well). I remember I enjoyed everything we did together and if I could and would have it over and over again.
There was also a guy. It was the guy that worked where we played. He was not that hot but he was cute, and he flirted with me since the first time I can remember noticing him. He was a little older than me which is always good in my book. He said cute things, he helped me and he even gave me a couple of small gifts. My friends were all as excited as I was, especially the twins. The took me to see him and went to talk to him for me, they also kept an eye so I knew when he was checking me out. But I got too carried away and it didn't work out. He was a guy who actually seemed to like me and was all mysterious and that, and as I was so excited I came too hard at him. But that was not the worse, he actually liked it but I was blinded by the fact that he liked me that I put him in a pedestal that he couldn't reach even if he jumped, found stairs or even an elevator to climb up. So as it happens I was terribly disappointed to find how little he was willing to do for me and what he was really like. To this day when I haven't seen him in over 2 years I still feel like I want to get even, because I felt like it was my fault and it wasn't. He simply was not good enough for me, that's why I've decided that he doesn't even exist anymore for me, I still feel like I want him to know what he missed but he is not important enough for me to be thinking about. It was my fault, I know an believe me I learned from it. I learned to play really hard to get, because he was like chasing me when I ignored him and I learned that you don't decide if you like a person until you know something true about them. Not everything was bad though. He was really sweet to me, he went trough a lot of trouble to learn my name so he could talk to me, and he helped me when I had some issues at school. I have to be honest though, that wasn't the best part, he actually made another friend jealous that otherwise I'd never would've thought even liked me. Turns out he heard about this guy and even invited me out for lunch. I really enjoyed that, he is a great guy. I wished I could have hung out with him a lot more before I came to the States.
Today? Over two years later? I now live in a different country and I try to keep in touch, but I've only managed it to a certain degree. I don't talk to the twins or my old friend at all, only a little with one of the sisters (the older one), and sometimes with my cousin (I really miss him, I'll tell you about him soon). Strangely enough I talk a lot with my dear dear crazy and naughty friend. Every time we can we talk as much as we can and we keep our conversations just as we did back then as if we talked everyday (Yes, we do talk as naughty and playful as we did back then. Even if the hormones have been put under control, our minds haven't).
Anyway, I really hope to keep this in my memory as fond as I do now and keep in touch with those people that won such a big place in my heart.
So there you go, those were 2 of the best months I've ever had. There was a similar one the year before that with another group of friends but it felt different. I felt I had to act a certain way at some points and that if I didn't then those friends would've seen me different. I never felt that way the following year. The more I was myself the more my friends loved me, they put up with my craziness and even encouraged me to be more of myself. I didn't have to pretend, and I didn't even have to hide anything about who I really am, and that's one of the things I took with me after that summer. I know I've tried to get that back but I also know it won't be the same. I'm just happy that I get to keep all that with me.
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